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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that modern technology encourages more sociable behaviour. Others say that this tend to lesser sociable behaviour. Discuss both views with examples and provide your opinion

#people #technology #behaviour #tend
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Modern technology can give rise to both advantages and disadvantages. Some might say that it encourages more social behaviour,
while
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 others think it is the contrary. Because of modern technology,
people
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 can connect with other
people
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 that live far away with ease. Innovations
such
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 as social media, applications for matchmaking and chatting now exist to enable that. It has become easier than ever to find
identities
Correct article usage
the identities
show examples
 of
people
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 that live all over the world
in
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on
show examples
 both
platforms
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. Most importantly, unlike sending letters via the post office, messages can be sent and received quickly. As there is no delay,
people
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 are now able to talk in
real time
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real-time
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 as if the parties in the conversation are physically present.
However
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, a drawback to using those
platforms
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 is that the users can spend too much time there and become less social with
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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 around them. All of the
platforms
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 can be accessed through mobile phones or laptops, which are portable devices that can be utilised anywhere and anytime.
This
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 allows
people
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 to use the
platforms
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 at all times and engage with friends online more than they do with
people
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 that exist near them physically.
Consequently
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, it might be said that these
people
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 become less sociable
due to
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 the existence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online applications. In conclusion, products of modern technology
such
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 as social media and applications for dating and chatting can bring
people
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 to interact with one another wherever they live.
In
Change the preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary, it
also
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encourage
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encourages
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 less sociable behaviour when the users
forgets
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
 to be sociable with
people
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 who are physically present nearby.
Submitted by lppwinahyu on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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