IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

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Nowadays,
televison
Correct your spelling
television
 is one of the most
enssential
Correct your spelling
essential
 electronic devices in our houses and
talent
Use synonyms
 shows have become more popular in many societies.
Although
Linking Words
talent
Use synonyms
 shows
also
Linking Words
 are
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 for many
people
Use synonyms
 in the world,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
through these
shows
Add a comma
,shows
show examples
 the organizers
also
Linking Words
 find talented
people
Use synonyms
 In my view,
talent
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 shows are entertainment but these shows find talented
people
Use synonyms
 mainly with abilities
such
Linking Words
 as singing, dancing, cooking,
model
Wrong verb form
modelling
show examples
,etc . The most important thing is the person participating in the
talent
Use synonyms
 show will be known by many
people
Use synonyms
 after the shows, there are various opportunities
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 important
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the world.
For example
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 try hard, they do not achieve much because they are not naturally talented. I like singing, but I will not make money unless I have a good singing voice so for many unknown talents, these competitions are enormous opportunities to show off their ability to the world.
Talent
Use synonyms
 shows to find talented
people
Use synonyms
 but sometimes there are talented
people
Use synonyms
 who are not lucky. Luck can
also
Linking Words
 help you achieve success.
For example
Linking Words
,you can be more successful in business if you meet the right
people
Use synonyms
. So there can be many factors that contribute to success. But
on the other hand
Linking Words
, any TV programs are related to their viewers and talented shows should be enjoyable so all the
talent
Use synonyms
 shows must have something entertaining to attract the viewers,which increases the rating of the shows. In Short, these shows are a good method
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 finding
people
Use synonyms
 talented but
people
Use synonyms
 could be a really entertaining way to relax after hard times.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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