Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

#talent #societies #method #people #entertainment

Nowadays,

televison

Correct your spelling

television

is one of the most

enssential

Correct your spelling

essential

electronic devices in our houses and

talent

shows have become more popular in many societies.

Although

talent

shows

also

are

Correct your spelling

entertainment

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

for many

people

in the world,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

through these

shows

Add a comma

,shows

show examples

the organizers

also

find talented

people

In my view,

talent

shows are entertainment but these shows find talented

people

mainly with abilities

such

as singing, dancing, cooking,

model

Wrong verb form

modelling

show examples

,etc . The most important thing is the person participating in the

talent

show will be known by many

people

after the shows, there are various opportunities

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

important

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all

Change preposition

over

show examples

the world.

For example

Although

some

people

try hard, they do not achieve much because they are not naturally talented. I like singing, but I will not make money unless I have a good singing voice so for many unknown talents, these competitions are enormous opportunities to show off their ability to the world.

Talent

shows to find talented

people

but sometimes there are talented

people

who are not lucky. Luck can

also

help you achieve success.

For example

,you can be more successful in business if you meet the right

people

. So there can be many factors that contribute to success. But

on the other hand

, any TV programs are related to their viewers and talented shows should be enjoyable so all the

talent

shows must have something entertaining to attract the viewers,which increases the rating of the shows. In Short, these shows are a good method

Change preposition

for

show examples

finding

people

talented but

people

could be a really entertaining way to relax after hard times.

Submitted by sinh.ielts on Sat Jun 17 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

​​Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and families. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?