Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

#talent #societies #method #people #entertainment

Nowadays,

televison

Correct your spelling

television

is one of the most

enssential

Correct your spelling

essential

electronic devices in our houses and

talent

shows have become more popular in many societies.

Although

talent

shows

also

are

Correct your spelling

entertainment

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

for many

people

in the world,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

through these

shows

Add a comma

,shows

show examples

the organizers

also

find talented

people

In my view,

talent

shows are entertainment but these shows find talented

people

mainly with abilities

such

as singing, dancing, cooking,

model

Wrong verb form

modelling

show examples

,etc . The most important thing is the person participating in the

talent

show will be known by many

people

after the shows, there are various opportunities

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

important

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all

Change preposition

over

show examples

the world.

For example

Although

some

people

try hard, they do not achieve much because they are not naturally talented. I like singing, but I will not make money unless I have a good singing voice so for many unknown talents, these competitions are enormous opportunities to show off their ability to the world.

Talent

shows to find talented

people

but sometimes there are talented

people

who are not lucky. Luck can

also

help you achieve success.

For example

,you can be more successful in business if you meet the right

people

. So there can be many factors that contribute to success. But

on the other hand

, any TV programs are related to their viewers and talented shows should be enjoyable so all the

talent

shows must have something entertaining to attract the viewers,which increases the rating of the shows. In Short, these shows are a good method

Change preposition

for

show examples

finding

people

talented but

people

could be a really entertaining way to relax after hard times.

Submitted by sinh.ielts on Sat Jun 17 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

263 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. Do you agree or disagree?

some experts believe that, it is better for children to beigin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadavantages

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that space exploration is beneficial to humanity. Others, however, think that it is useless. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.