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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the pie charts show the electricity generated in germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. summarize the information and make comparison.write at least 150 words

the pie charts show the electricity generated in germany and france from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. summarize the information and make comparison.write at least 150 words
#show #electricity #germany #france #sources #renewables #year #information #comparison
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This
 provided pie charts illustrate the total amount of
electricity
 produced in two countries
France
 and
Germany
 in 2009. It is measured in Billion kWh. It can be seen that most of the
electricity
 in
Germany
 is generated from Conventional Thermal, but the main source of
energy
, in
France
 from nuclear power,
whereas
 the amount of
electricity
 obtained from
renewables
 is nearly similar in both countries.
To begin
, in
Germany
, Conventional Thermal accounted for the majority of
electricity
 generation, at 59.6 %,
while
 in
France
, most of the electric
energy
 came from nuclear power, at 76%, but in
Germany
, nuclear power represented only just a round one-fifth of the total
energy
.
In addition
 to that the amount of
electricity
 that came from Conventional Thermal in
France
 was a minority compared to
Germany
. Regarding
renewables
,
this
 accounted for a similar percentage in both countries approximately, at 15 per cent.
Moreover
, in
Germany
,
renewables
 were essentially composed of Biomass and Wind, totalling around 75%, but Hydroelectric and solar accounted for a smaller proportion of electric
energy
 production compared to them .The situation was completely different in
France
, as
renewables
 mainly came from Hydroelectric, at 80.5%,
whereas
 the other three sources, Solar, Biomass, and Wind represented around 20% of
renewables
 together.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, france, germany, energy, renewables with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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