You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Pie Chart

#minutes #show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

two pie charts show data about a group

age

Replace the word

aged

show examples

between 18 to 25 years old, and how they consumed

programs with different appliances during the period of 2009 to 2019 in Canada.

Overall

, there is a drastic decrease in conventional

users over

10-years

Correct your spelling

10 years

Instead

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of mobile phone, flat-screen

and desktop computer users have taken over the most of usage in

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

chart. In detail, the least popular device used by young adults in Canada in the year 2009, was

tablet

Add an article

a tablet

the tablet

show examples

, with 5% of the total amount.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

chart of 2019,

this

percentage

increased to 19%.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

other devices like mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and flat-screen

consumers'

percentage

both increased over a decade, from 8% to 27%, and from 15% to 26% respectively. As can

be observe

Change the verb form

be observed

show examples

from these two charts, young people's interest in desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and Laptop devices to watch

programs have dropped slightly after

10-years

Correct your spelling

10 years

Besides

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

we can

also

see how the use of conventional

percentage

dropped from 34% to 4% after a decade of interval.

Submitted by dewintaputri23 on Sat Jun 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, percentage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The vast majority of the population deems that the presence of a tour guide is composed of a necessary part of the tour destination while others argue with this position and claim that visitors can travel independently. I advocate strongly with these statements and am going to reflect on this essay my own view of such a common issue and discuss both opinions.
<4
band
It is commonly said that death is must required for a criminals whereas another people says life long imprisonment is necessary .Give your opinion and discuss both the veiws
The punishment for heavy offenders is debatable, some say they must receive corporal panishment while others say they should rote in jail cells. In this essay, i will exermine both sides before i explain why I support life imprisonment over deathe sentance.
7.5
band
Some people believe that graduating from university is pivotal to landing a promising job. However, others argue that gaining experience and improving interpersonal skills is more instrumental. This essay will examine these two perspectives.
To commence, a plethora of factors contribute to why completing a university education is paramount. Firstly, during people’s time in university, they will have the opportunity to be taught by world-class professors, teaching them advanced knowledge as well as fundamental principles in relation to their subject. Therefore, such invaluable lessons can bolster their abilities and deepen their knowledge, which are very useful for these individuals’ future. Additionally, finishing undergraduate study is considered an essential requirement in pursuing a career within certain fields. For instance, those who aspire to become professional lawyers have to obtain a law degree before participating in the bar exam.
6
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent decades, by the rise of various more facillated transportation methods, such as modern shipping, people can easily buy products which are produced in other parts of the world from any supermarket. This trend raises an important question: does this development come with advantages or disadvantages? From my viewpoint, generally, it can carry several advantages which will be discussed in this essay.
4
band
What experiences have shaped who you are, how you invest in others, and what kind of leader you want to become?
Looking at my dad building his own business and then failing has encouraged me to pursue entrepreneurship. When I stand in my shoes, building on my own business for 4 years, I realize that business is not only about passion. Passion is important, but what is more meaningful is grit and discipline. As an entrepreneur, I often lack of reference and do mistakes, but from mistakes, I learn a lot and keep trying and looking for the right mentors and networks.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is commonly said that death is must required for a criminals whereas another people says life long imprisonment is necessary .Give your opinion and discuss both the veiws

Some people believe that graduating from university is pivotal to landing a promising job. However, others argue that gaining experience and improving interpersonal skills is more instrumental. This essay will examine these two perspectives.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

What experiences have shaped who you are, how you invest in others, and what kind of leader you want to become?