You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Pie Chart

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Pie Chart
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he
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
two pie charts show data about a group
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
between 18 to 25 years old, and how they consumed
tv
programs with different appliances during the period of 2009 to 2019 in Canada.
Overall
, there is a drastic decrease in conventional
TV
users over
10-years
Correct your spelling
10 years
.
Instead
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of mobile phone, flat-screen
TV
and desktop computer users have taken over the most of usage in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
chart. In detail, the least popular device used by young adults in Canada in the year 2009, was
tablet
Add an article
a tablet
the tablet
show examples
, with 5% of the total amount.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
chart of 2019,
this
percentage
increased to 19%.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
other devices like mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and flat-screen
TV
consumers'
percentage
both increased over a decade, from 8% to 27%, and from 15% to 26% respectively. As can
be observe
Change the verb form
be observed
show examples
from these two charts, young people's interest in desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and Laptop devices to watch
TV
programs have dropped slightly after
10-years
Correct your spelling
10 years
.
Besides
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
we can
also
see how the use of conventional
TV
percentage
dropped from 34% to 4% after a decade of interval.
Submitted by dewintaputri23 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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