The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among  different age groups of residents  in the UK in 2004.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart showcases how much each of the three categories contributed to the total expenses of Britons in different youth groups.
It is clear that
Linking Words
in 2004, food and drink
along with
Linking Words
entertainment are what people tend to spend on when they get older,
however
Linking Words
, the pattern for restaurants and hotels appears to be distinctive. It can be noted that most expenditure of young adults under the maturity of 30 is on accommodation and eating out,
while
Linking Words
for the rest the tendency is slightly lower. The figures seemed to be almost 15 and just over five per cent respectively. Restaurants with hotels accounted for more than ten per cent of the total cost of residents over 30 but under 60, and for over sixty years old habitats the proportion of the category has become inconsiderable.
According to
Linking Words
the illustration, British individuals over the old age of thirty spent more than 10%, and the more life is, the more the portion of total spending is.
However
Linking Words
, the expenses of Britons who are between 61 and 75 on entertainment appeared to be approximately twenty-three per cent which is considerably more than the percentage of the rest age groups.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: