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Band 4

in some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. to what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

#countries #people #products #development
A popular belief is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 having
flexible
Replace the word
flexibility
show examples
 and
secure
Replace the word
security
show examples
 has been considered as an essential thing for human activities
such
 as
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 productivity and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 faster.
In addition
 to that, well-qualified people who consider
technology
development
 could gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of options rather than use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manual payment, because individuals can follow the modern era to use cutting-edge technologies as important elements to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 and convenience usage. Even though directing
use
Add an article
the use
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 of
technology
 has difficulties and failures to manage, organise, or utilize,
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 of importing
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 has a huge opportunity to obtain a better result. example, if citizens focus on
technology
 growth to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity, they will earn more
revenues
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revenue
show examples
 and
incomes
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income
show examples
.
As a result
, focusing on
technology
 could incline the
amount
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number
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 of sophisticated transactions not only for today but
also
 for
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 days.
On the other hand
, there are several issues or problems, to develop and evolve the
technology
 to become crucial and famous in society’s view by having low economy and unemployment. First thing
first,
having terrible
obstacle
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obstacles
show examples
 in
technology
 research could obtain and increase
cost
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the cost
show examples
 of
development
,
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apply
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 because several inhabitants have
wish
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wished
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 and hope about
easiness
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the easiness
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 of getting money.
Moreover
, having unemployment and
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 economy could become negative impacts or consequences, because society will not agree, support, and advocate
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high level of
improting
Correct your spelling
importing
 and exporting.
Although
technology
development
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an ideal opportunity to become potential incomes,
these
Change the determiner
this technology
these technologies
show examples
technology
 of export and import could not be
implementative
Correct your spelling
implementation
 and acceptable, because import or export can make people reduce their incomes.
For instance
, if several societies understand and comprehend
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
technology
 impact, they will appreciate the meaning of
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
technology
 to avoid feeling hesitant in society.
Therefore
, technologies have been assumed as good elements for societies to know and admit the opportunity of export and import in many years to come.
Submitted by faridhuzairi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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