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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first few months after the birth of their baby. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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In recent days, the topic of
women
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 taking several
months
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 of
maternity
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 leave after giving birth has sparked heated discussions in society. Some people believe that they do not need to take longer
maternity
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 leave,
while
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 others hold the opposite view. In my opinion, the advantages of
women
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 taking a few
months
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 of
maternity
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 leave outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand,
women
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 can take
maternity
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 leave during the first few
months
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 after the baby is born, which is a critical time for breastfeeding and for
women
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 to recover physically. After their
maternity
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 leave is over, the chances of them not being able to go to
work
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due to
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 physical discomfort are reduced, and it can
also
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 lead to higher self-confidence and job satisfaction.
In addition
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,
women
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 taking longer
maternity
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 leave can help them take care of their
babies
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, which will
also
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 help the
babies
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 grow up healthily, and allow husbands to focus on their
work
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.
Women
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 who go to
work
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 with only a short break after giving birth can experience health problems, which can prevent the healthy development of
babies
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.
Women
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 who worry about their
babies
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 at
work
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 can
also
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 suffer from reduced productivity and output.
On the other hand
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,
women
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's extended
maternity
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 leave results in them being away from
work
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 for extended periods of time, which can disconnect them from the company's operations. When they return, they do not perform well, which affects the company's output.
In addition
Linking Words
, taking long
maternity
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 leave and not returning to
work
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 will make employers think more about hiring
women
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, which may increase the problem of sexism in the workplace.
Overall
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, I think the benefits for
women
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 of taking
maternity
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 leave for the first few
months
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 of a baby outweigh the risks.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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