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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

In recent days, a survey has found that a large proportion of crime in many countries is committed by young
people
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. It is important to understand why
this
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 problem occurs and how to fix it. The gap between the rich and the poor in some countries is too large. Some
people
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 cannot find ideal jobs to support themselves because they do not have enough money to receive an education. They can only live in slums.
This
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 forms a vicious circle. Those
people
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 will steal or rob for money. Children from impoverished families have lived in
such
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 neighbourhoods with a bad atmosphere since they were young. They are easily influenced and form bad habits, eventually turning to crime.
In addition
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, in order to report authenticity, some
media
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 today ignore video ratings,
thus
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 presenting some violent and bloody images to the audience. The
media
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 contents affect teenagers, amplifying their subconscious violent tendencies and potentially leading to criminal behaviour. There are several ways to solve or reduce
this
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 problem. First of all, schools and families should pay more attention to
student's
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students'
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 physical and mental health, provide timely psychological counselling to children, and reduce the impact of negative factors on young
people
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. These actions can help to reduce the juvenile crime rate.
Moreover
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, the government should focus on improving the education model. Young
people
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 can stay in school, avoid going to places that are not suitable for them, and avoid contact with
people
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 who have bad behaviour.
This
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 can help to reduce the external factors that contribute to juvenile delinquency.
Also
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, the government should legislate to review and grade
media
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 reports, pay special attention to the content of their reports, and limit young
people
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's access to harmful
media
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 content.
This
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 can help reduce the possibility of juvenile delinquency.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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