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Writing Samples
Band 5

The flow chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.

The flow chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.
The graph illustrates the method of recycling used for the
waste
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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paper
Use synonyms
. There are six stages in the
process
Use synonyms
, beginning with the collection of the
paper
Use synonyms
waste
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
paper
Use synonyms
 is sorted by hand, transported, cleaned,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 ink and all the glue are removed and after all that, the
paper
Use synonyms
 is put in a
Use synonyms
paper making
Use the right word
paper-making
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 machine. Looking at the first and second stages of the
process
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, it can be seen that
all
Rephrase
not all
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 the
waste
Use synonyms
can’t
Correct your spelling
can
 be recycled.
Firstly
Linking Words
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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 the
paper
Use synonyms
 is collected from public
paper
Use synonyms
 banks and businesses and not the street
waste
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Secondly
Punctuation problem
Secondly,
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 because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 even if all the
paper
Use synonyms
 is collected, it still faces another
process
Use synonyms
 of sorting with all the unsuitable
waste
Use synonyms
 put apart.
However
Linking Words
, the collected
paper
Use synonyms
 faces two stages of cleaning. The first one takes place in the cleaning part where the extracted
paper
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 is cleaned, pulped and has all materials like staples removed. The second cleaning stage is the De-Inking
process
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 takes place after the first cleaning stage
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 where all the ink and glue
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 removed to
finally
Linking Words
 be able to enter a
Use synonyms
paper making
Use the right word
paper-making
show examples
 machine.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, paper, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycling, waste management, sustainability
  • collection centers, transportation, recycling plant
  • sorting, separation, grades, types
  • shredding, pulping, slurry, pulp
  • screening, de-inking, cleaning, contaminants
  • refining, bleaching, color stripping, quality
  • forming, pressing, drying, sheets, reels
  • quality control, packaging, dispatching
  • environmental benefits, natural resources conservation
  • economic benefits, cost savings, job creation
  • challenges, limitations, process efficiency
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