IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

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People
Use synonyms
 who are working in higher positions with a lot of responsibility and pressure, like CEOs and executives, typically get paid more than
people
Use synonyms
 who handle other
work
Use synonyms
. Various large
companies
Use synonyms
 have the same payment system that I totally agree with,
people
Use synonyms
 should get their
salary
Use synonyms
 based on their responsibility and qualification. There are a number of successful
companies
Use synonyms
 around the world that have strict payment structures
according to
Linking Words
 job descriptions and required qualifications for the positions.
While
Linking Words
 working in general
work
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,
such
Linking Words
 as in a warehouse, doesn’t require much skill
sets
Fix the agreement mistake
set
show examples
 or high education, holding a position in administration and management is different. Not only do they have to spend a large amount of money on education, but
also
Linking Words
 have to be able to efficiently
work
Use synonyms
 under high pressure. From
this
Linking Words
 point of view, the
companies
Use synonyms
 should pay them better than other employees to cover up their sacrifice.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, CEOs and executives are like the brains of the whole organization who lead and find the most beneficial ways
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 is the weapon that each large firm uses for stealing talented administrators.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other ordinary jobs might
also
Linking Words
 want talented
people
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, but they can find someone else to replace
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 that position
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
, so generally the businesses won’t set their base
salary
Use synonyms
 as high as the CEOs.
As the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 great
salary
Use synonyms
 comes with great responsibility, stress and hard
work
Use synonyms
 which requires
excellence
Replace the word
excellent
show examples
 skills
along with
Linking Words
 a high education degree.
People
Use synonyms
 who have worked all their way up to suit for those positions are supposed to be paid
extra
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 than others which should be enough for them to keep working an amazing job for leading the
companies
Use synonyms
 to
glory
Correct pronoun usage
their glory
show examples
 days.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents your opinion clearly, but consider adding a brief overview of the main points you will discuss. This helps to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer and more concise. Try to avoid unnecessary repetition and streamline your arguments for better flow.
task achievement
While you provide examples, they would benefit from more specific details or data to strengthen your argument. This would enhance the relevance and clarity of your supporting points.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main idea but could be stronger if it reflects on the wider implications of your argument regarding salary and responsibility.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic and support your view with logical reasoning and relevant points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay maintains a consistent structure, moving logically from introduction to conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
What to do next:
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