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Writing Samples
Band 7

write an opinion essay. What are some of the benefits of modern technology for health care services?

#technology #health #care #services
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Maintaining healthy behaviour in
children
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 is a difficult topic in today's society.
Due to
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 the development in
technology
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 and the environment he
lives
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 in, many
children
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 now lead better
lives
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. But some
children
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 experience an illness
as a result
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 of their bad habits and wrongful use of modern
technology
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. I think that those in charge of the
lives
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 of these
children
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 are their
parents
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 and their teachers. They ought to take specific actions to fix
this
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 issue. A child's parent holds full responsibility for how his child functions, grows and matures. Most
children
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 view their
parents
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 as their superheroes, and role models, they have a huge impact on their
children
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 especially at young ages.
Therefore
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parents
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 should watch what they do and be careful about what things they are transferred to their own
children
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. The first step
parents
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 should be aware of is that they have to know what kind of food enters the house and what kind of diet their
children
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 prefer.
For example
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, they could switch junk food to healthier alternatives that contain 0 sugar and fat and are all organic based.
Technology
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 has taken a huge part in our
lives
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. It made
children
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 not only addicted to these types of
technology
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 but
also
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 made them lazy. Second homes are schools. In comparison to their own homes, schools are better places for kids to develop new behaviours. It means that educators now have a responsibility to influence young kids' thinking and help in their development of knowledge that will enable them to live their best
lives
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. Teachers should provide scientific materials that need movement in order to foster the development of new habits and nourish brain function.
Children
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 would be able to move their bodies more frequently in
this
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 fashion, which would lower their risk of obesity and other ailments brought on by an unhealthy lifestyle.
To sum up
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,
children
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 are likely to adopt new ways of living from things they learn from people they are in contact with.
For instance
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, their teachers and
parents
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. I really believe they hold a huge responsibility in changing these
children
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's
lives
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. If these steps were taken,
this
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 will not only help raise awareness, but it will help build their future.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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