You have just enrolled in a 12 week English class, but have found that you have a family problem and you will have to return home. Write to the school. In your letter 􀁸 Explain what has happened 􀁸 Request a refund 􀁸 Ask whether you will be able to return at a later date

#week #english #class #home #school #request #refund #date

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to chancel a 12 weeks English class that I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just enrolled

last

Change preposition

in last

show examples

week

due to

a family issue. My name is Keiko and I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

signed up for an English class for 12 weeks

last

Thursday.

Although

I was very excited

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

this

new

challenging

Replace the word

challenge

show examples

, I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

found a family issue yesterday, unfortunately. I heard from my parents

last

night and they told me that my father is going to be hospitalised next Thursday and going to have an operation the following week.

Therefore

, I have decided to go back to Japan for a

while

to support my family. Because of

this

situation, I would like to request a full refund for the course as I need to organise my flight ticket to return home. I am aware

this

is very inconvenient for you but If you could start processing my request as soon as possible, I would really

appriciate

Correct your spelling

appreciate

it.

Although

I am not sure

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

when exactly I am coming back to

Austlalia

Correct your spelling

Australia

this

point, is it possible to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

same class a few months later? I am very interested in

this

course and would love to study at your school again. Thank you very much in advance for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Keiko Okada

Submitted by keiko_o_1209 on Sun Jun 18 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

225 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have just enrolled in a 12 week English class, but have found that you have a family problem and you will have to return home. Write to the school. In your letter 􀁸 Explain what has happened 􀁸 Request a refund 􀁸 Ask whether you will be able to return at a later date

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

childhood obesity has become more and more popular.

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.