IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The majority of news being reported is bad news such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. Why do you think that is? Do you think the news should be a balance of both good and bad news?

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For decades, the broadcast of bad
news
Use synonyms
 has been expanded on tabloids, radio and so on. Fewer and fewer people want to pursue
this
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 kind of information.
This
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 happens because the globe suffers from a diversity of problems. It is negative progress and the number of good
reports
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 should be
also
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 published. In
this
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 essay, I will give answers to
both
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 questions property.
Initially
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, there is an exceedingly increasing number of
reports
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 that only contain negative subjects since there is a sharp decrease in motivated data
due to
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 environmental degradations that occur since mankind is greedy and thoughtless.
For example
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, each year several hectares of harvestable lands turn to site-buildings so many farmers could not find suitable lands to cultivate vegetables and fruits.
Additionally
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, the crime rate has shot in metropolitan cities because of the high cost of living, and
thus
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, the impoverished commence burglary.
Subsequently
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, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of reasons to explain the shooting rate of worrisome
news
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, and
hence
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, it is normal to hear
as well as
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 read
such
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 shocking
news
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.
Secondly
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, the majority of communities ponder that there should be a balance of
both
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 good and bad
news
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 with the aim of making readers feel peaceful
instead
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 of getting stressed
whereas
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 gaining data has been a kind of leisure pursuit at which point try to put their minds off from problems for some minutes;
therefore
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, the plan of censorship concerning bad
news
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 would be implemented ;
moreover
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, the result of a survey in Japan explored that inhabitants who watch the
news
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 about
both
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 types had been suffered from less stress in comparison with bad
news
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 readers.
As a result
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, everyone can obtain the
news
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due to
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 knowing the world's events, and
thus
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, the mixture of
both
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 could be less harmful to human mental health. In conclusion,
although
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 folks have adequate human rights to know about the latest affairs, acquiring only negative information can lead to severe mental diseases. Personally, in my opinion, only fifteen minutes of data should be designed for aggravation
reports
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 and the remaining thirty minutes ought to explain outstanding motivated
reports
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.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and cohesive structure. The ideas are not well-connected, and the supporting examples are not fully developed.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It does not present a balanced discussion of both good and bad news. Additionally, the examples provided are not sufficiently relevant to support the points made.
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