IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Water resources around the world are falling deficient. Analyse the possible reasons and provide your suggestion ?

#water #resources #world #analyse #suggestion
Nowadays,there is no doubt that
resources
Change the noun form
resource
show examples
 depletion has increasingly become evident ,
water
Correct word choice
and water
show examples
resources
 depleting throughout the world . In
this
 essay , I will discuss many potential causes that play
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
 in minimizing them and I
also
 prepare my proposal on
this
 issue ． Recently,
Water
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 is depleting over the world,
this
 happen because the growth of populations is
enormous
Change the word
enormously
show examples
 mounting and the
water
 sources couldn't harmonise with
population's
Correct article usage
the population's
show examples
 growth .
For instance
. The study
carry
Change the verb form
carries
show examples
 out on
water
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
,
as a result
, it demonstrates that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 consumes 50% of
water
 source
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
 and it
predict
Change the verb form
predicts
show examples
 that growing populations will consume 80% in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
next
40years
Correct your spelling
40 years
.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, Soil erosion and barren land
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 Form
deforesation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
deformation
due to
Correct article usage
the increasment
show examples
increasment
Correct your spelling
increase
 of Habitat and logging out Operation that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 useful for
Production
Correct article usage
the Production
show examples
 of
Papers
Fix the agreement mistake
Paper
show examples
 and
Woods
Fix the agreement mistake
Wood
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lead to
markedly
Correct article usage
a markedly
show examples
decreasment
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rain,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 represent one of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
most vital part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
resources
. In my opinion,
to begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 is responsible For recycling, it should
also
 teach people about recycling benefits
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 childhood and design voluntary programmes , because individuals should have the responsibility for using
resources
 wisely and
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
 products that could be recycling them.
Secondly
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should impose harsher fines and
puinshments
Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
 for those who
cutting
Change the form of the verb
cut
show examples
 off trees without any restriction.
in addition
, the
govemernt
Correct your spelling
government
movement
 system should ensure
reforestation
Correct article usage
the reforestation
show examples
 of
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
 been affected. In conclusion,
although
 the problems with population growth and barren land ,
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
can be resolved by
government 's
Correct article usage
the government 's
show examples
 laws and
cooperation
Correct article usage
the cooperation
show examples
 of people to enhance
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
environmental sources.
Submitted by dent.hussain97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: