In many developing nation, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

Air and water pollution is tremendously increasing specifically in the countries that are trying to boost the growth economically to attain a better rank on a global scale. These parts of the world have tried to accommodate more industries which is one of the major causes of decreasing the quality of the environment.
Therefore
, the emission and disposal of misuse are not properly regulated
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
production areas are not well planned. In order to solve
this
problem, the government needs to revise the industrial laws.
Firstly
, one of the main reasons is the waste from the factories is usually disposed of in the water bodies which has affected the life near it. Certainly, the harmful chemicals from rubbish enter the ecosystem leading the detrimental problems like lead poisoning, killing marine life etc.
According to
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Health Organization, the fish ingested lead remains in its body as it is not digested, considerably, humans consuming seafood have a high content of
such
chemicals. It has led to many health concerns for people,
nonetheless
, to solve the problem,the government should regulate the waste management system and the disposal should be closely monitored,
also
, the companies who do not obey should be fined heavily.
Secondly
, another major contributor is the fumes emitted from the chimneys of these businesses contain many dangerous substances like carbon monoxide, sulphur dioxide etc. which
retain
Wrong verb form
are retained
show examples
back to the earth's surface by acid rain, eventually causing skin diseases and poisoning in some cases. The consequences of acid rain are not limited to individuals as it tends to harm the entire atmosphere which could be easily seen by the yellowing marble which was once white of one of the seven wonders on the Earth namely The Taj Mahal.
Thus
, the ideal solution is to set up the warehouses should be away from the housing and in the region where there is a low population.
Moreover
, public authorities should not grant permission to operate
specially
Rephrase
especially
show examples
to the industries that release these chemicals into the air. In conclusion, rushing towards more and more production units has caused adverse effects on both air and water. The disposal of garbage and emissions of fumes is the major culprits of these issues.
As a result
, authorities should restrict certain activities
while
laws related to them should be made.
Submitted by ramanpreetkaursetia on

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task response
There is good overall development and organization in the essay, with some room for improvement in fully addressing the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are generally effective, and the main points are supported with relevant examples, but there is a need for more explicit and consistent use of cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

Word Count

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accelerated
  • deteriorated
  • respiratory diseases
  • untreated industrial waste
  • aquatic life
  • biodiversity
  • habitat destruction
  • ecosystems
  • extinction
  • urbanization
  • overcrowding
  • stricter environmental regulations
  • sustainable
  • green technologies
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • waste management
  • contamination
  • vehicular pollution
  • conservation
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