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The pie charts show the result of survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate

The pie charts show the result of survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate
#show #survey #children’s #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls
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The given pie charts illustrate the proportion of
time
 allotted by the children to do cultural and
leisure
 activities in their free
time
 and the data segregate by sex and gender.
Overall
,
boys
 arrange their relaxation most in front of the computer playing games ,
similarly
Add a comma
,similarly
show examples
 the
girls
 spend their free
time
 dancing more than other activities.
Moreover
,
boys
 spent their
time
 on reading activities only 2%
while
girls
 spent ten times more. (
In addition
,
boys
 spent most of their free
time
 doing sports with 54% than the
girls
 only half. Looking into detail, it is apparent that
boys
 like to spend their free
time
 playing games on the computer at 34%, followed by sport exercise : playing basketball, playing soccer, and skateboarding at 26%, 17% and 11% respectively. Reading becomes the least activity done by the
boys
, they only spend 2% of their
leisure
time
.
In contrast
,
girls
 almost only spend 16% of their free moment playing computer games. They spend use /allocate /allot the majority of they their
leisure
 do dancing at 27%, and reading in second place at 21%. Similar to the
boys
, the
girls
also
 arrange their free
time
 to do sports exercises like netball (15%) and gymnastics (11%).
Moreover
,
girls
 allocate the same proportion as
boys
 for listening to music 10% of their
leisure
time
.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, leisure, boys, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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