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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar charts describe how much time a teacher spent at three school levels in four different countries in 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts describe how much time a teacher spent at three school levels in four different countries in 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 report is
provide
Change the verb form
to provide
providing
show examples
 data pertaining to the
hours
Use synonyms
 that are spent
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
 at three
school
Use synonyms
 levels.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figure for upper secondary outnumbered
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those for primary and lower secondary.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in four countries, ranking first is upper secondary, and the most highlighted is
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, with nearly 1200
hours
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent. The second place
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 teaching at upper secondary
school
Use synonyms
 belongs to Ireland, with just above 900
hours
Use synonyms
, which has
similar
Add an article
a similar
the similar
show examples
 number as Spain. In terms of Japan, there was
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest number of
hours
Use synonyms
, with 700
hours
Use synonyms
. With respect to other levels, teachers spent
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
 at
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of lower secondary which increased gradually from Japan to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, with the exception of
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in Iceland.
Relation
Change preposition
In relation
show examples
 to primary
school
Use synonyms
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 was taught in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is the highest, which around 100
hours
Use synonyms
 higher than the figure for Spain.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by Japan, spending
hours
Use synonyms
 for teaching was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher than that of Iceland, at 600
hours
Use synonyms
 and nearly 600
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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