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Band 3.5

Currently, more and more people respect elders and become convinced that old people should live with their families, which is in contrast to the view that old people should live at a nursing home.

#people #respect #elders #families #contrast #home
To begin
 with, when the old live with their family, they can bring various benefits for their children.
Firstly
, with their rich experience in both work and
life
, they are good consultants. Clearly, in work,
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 have seen all the changes in
economy
Add an article
an economy
the economy
show examples
 whose experience is helpful to their children.
Therefore
,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 generation can give the best
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 when their son or daughter can start to come and expose to real
life
 before
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can figure out it.
For example
, a lot of old parents purchased their offspring to study abroad because not only
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
 see the chance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 earn money but
also
 the disadvantages that are available in developing countries.
While
 retirees are celebrated for their
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 knowledge, they
also
 are gurus in
life
. Youth are now facing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big pressure from family which can cause a crisis in
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 when making a false decision.
Therefore
,
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
show examples
 can be a great supporter in terms of
tighten
Change the verb form
tightening
show examples
relationship
Correct article usage
the relationship
show examples
 between husband and wife or son and parents.
Consequently
,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 generation can improve their standards of
life
 by
follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
 in
elderly’s
Correct article usage
the elderly’s
show examples
 footsteps.
Moreover
, because they have much free time, they become useful volunteers in their local environment. Obviously, oldster
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be committed to social activities
such
 as helping people or church,
pagoda
Correct word choice
or pagoda
show examples
.
Therefore
, golden
ager
Fix the agreement mistake
agers
show examples
 can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
due to
 their contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
non- profit
Correct your spelling
non-profit
show examples
 activities.
As a result
,
these little action
Change the determiner
this little action
these little actions
show examples
 from
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 can help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society become better without any conditions.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional well-being
  • sense of belonging
  • unique insights
  • wisdom
  • family dynamics
  • integration
  • busy household
  • professional care
  • specialized facilities
  • medical needs
  • social isolation
  • intergenerational interaction
  • peer engagement
  • tailored activities
  • financial implications
  • burden
  • professional care facilities
  • evolving perceptions
  • elder care
  • cultural influences
  • social factors
  • economic factors
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