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Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is ? What measure can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Car
Add an article
The car
show examples
 helps mobility for some
people
, especially in urban areas. It will be easier too to work with a
car
 than with public
transportation
 because we can start driving from home to the office without jumping into another kind of
transportation
. Not only that, we can freely decide the destination from where we are. In my opinion, it is true that
car
 ownership has increased over the past thirty years. Not only that, but the type of
car
 is
also
 varying. Now, electric
cars
 are
also
 used in several countries.
For instance
, electric
cars
 can help to reduce the pollution. But, pollution is not the only problem in urban areas. Because everyone wants to mobilize in a
car
, it shaped a big traffic jam. Both standard and electric
cars
 will be stuck in the street because of
this
. In order to solve the traffic jam issue, the government should take real action. The first thing to do is to develop public
transportation
 facility. As we know, one of the reasons
people
 use
cars
 is because of the comfort. The government should make public
transportation
 as comfortable as their own
cars
. If public
transportation
 facilities has increased in numbers and
also
 developed comforts,
people
 wouldn't think twice to use them. The cost of public transformation
also
 needs to be reduced. As it is a public facility, it should help the
people
 in the city to mobilize easily in comfort without a heavy cost. By using public
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
, we
also
 contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution and traffic jam.
This
also
 will reduce the number of
car
 owners.
Submitted by dindarakhmawulan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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