IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important

#“some #people #exercise #health #diet
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While
Linking Words
 it is believed by some
people
Use synonyms
 that exercise is an essential part of a healthy life, others think that having a balance food intake is the key. In my opinion, both exercise and
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 are needed for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy living, as their effects are synergistic. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that exercising is the key to health as it helps to reduce the risk of
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
.
Also
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,
workout
Correct article usage
a workout
show examples
 keeps a person's mind refreshed.
For instance
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, any physical work like running in fresh air tends to breathe in more oxygen which is very effective in relieving mental pressure.
In addition
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, unlike heavy gymnasium
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, yoga is a classic example
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 an individual of every age group can practice and benefit from it.
Thus
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,
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
show examples
 workout is considered a key to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 mind.
On the other hand
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, others consider that having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a key role to reinforce
people
Use synonyms
's bodies.
Firstly
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, consuming numerous healthy
nutrition
Replace the word
nutrients
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,
such
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 as
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
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 C and D, can help
people
Use synonyms
 to build up a more robust immune system,
such
Linking Words
 practice has contained several medical scientific evidence.
For example
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, having green vegetables or fruits may provide a spectrum of ingredients and nutrition for
people
Use synonyms
 to construct a
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
fit body.
Secondly
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, having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
 descend
people
Use synonyms
's
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having deadly diseases, expanding one's range of life.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both useful exercises and
diet
Use synonyms
 are vitally important for
people
Use synonyms
's lives,
also
Linking Words
, there are many preferable sides
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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