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Band 5

Internet is an important part of our lives and we cannot imagine our job or studies without it. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the Internet?

#internet #part #lives #job #studies
It is certainly true that in
this
 era the
internet
play
Change the verb form
plays
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 a significant role in our lives, and it is impossible to
imagination
Replace the word
imagine
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 our life without it. There are many merits including,
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
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 us
to
Change preposition
apply
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information
,
Correct word choice
and help
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help
Wrong verb form
helping
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 us to communicate and
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
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 of using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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physical and mental issues. On the one hand, there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
.
Firstly
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
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people
 to adopt
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
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 lifestyle.
This
 is because
people
 nowadays, spend a considerable
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amount of time in front of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 rather than doing exercise, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
Change preposition
in the
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 rate of obesity among
people
 .
Secondly
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 individuals feel isolated and
loneliness
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lonely
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.
For instance
,
people
 these
day
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days
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 prefer to interact through social media
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Facebook,
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
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 rather than face-to-face interaction, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to increase mental health issues namely, depression,
anxiety
Correct word choice
and anxiety
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.
On the other hand
, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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various benefits of
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. The first advantage, the
internet
 gives
people
 access to a wide range of
information
 in different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 regardless of their geographical
loaction
Correct your spelling
location
 compared with the past when
the
Correct article usage
apply
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libraries
only
Add a missing verb
were only
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 resource
of
Change preposition
for
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information
.
For example
,
people
 can use Google to search
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 plenty of
information
 about,health, history,
news
Correct word choice
and news
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 from their comfort
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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. The second advantage, the
internet
 helps us to keep in touch with loved ones regardless of their geographical
loaction
Correct your spelling
location
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
 relationships in
community
Add an article
the community
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. To illustrate,
people
 who study or work abroad can make
video
Add an article
a video
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 call with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 family or friends, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can reduce the
feel
Replace the word
feeling
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 of
Add a missing verb
being isolated
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isolated
Replace the word
isolation
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. In conclusion, the
internet
 have have upsides namely, gives
people
accessa
Correct your spelling
access
 to
information
,
helps
Correct word choice
and helps
show examples
people
 to stay in touch with their families,
friends
Correct word choice
and friends
show examples
,
however
, the downsides of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 including, motivate
people
 to adopt
inactive
Correct article usage
an inactive
show examples
 lifestyle,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
people
 struggle with mental health problems.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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