The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Every day we face plenty of uncertainties in our
life
including the confusion to pick the profession for our
future
careers. There are some words out there that we need to seek our
passion
to be more
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
While
there are plenty of
people
who
are agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
with
this
opinion,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
occasion, I would speak
my
Change preposition
about my
show examples
disagreement
over
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
idea. I believe that for
future
jobs,
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to consider
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
industries
that
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
higher income over
passion
.
While
some
people
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to
pursued
Change the verb
pursue
show examples
their
career
further
towards their
passion
such
as
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
industry
, I
am convince
Change the verb form
am convinced
show examples
that we
also
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to
realized
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
that some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not worth
to pursue
Change the verb form
pursuing
show examples
further
for
future
Add an article
a future
show examples
career
, and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
occasion
Add a comma
,occasion
show examples
I will take art
industry
as an example. Indonesia is lucky to have plenty of creative
people
, here there are several
people
who rely their
life
towards
this
industry
. Throughout the years,
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
industry
offers several
artist
Change to a plural noun
artists
show examples
that has been succeed
such
as Andre Taulany and Sule,
however
, there are more
people
that are suffers a lot in
this
industry
and cannot
gave
Change the verb form
give
show examples
better
life
to their
future
life
and their family wealth
also
due to
limited of money.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, consulting
industries
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
widely known as boring
industries
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
a lot of benefits
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wages. Over 100 years of
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian
show examples
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
show examples
, there are numerous
people
who later became ministry and
CEO’s
Change noun form
CEOs
show examples
in private
entity
Fix the agreement mistake
entities
show examples
and state-owned
enterprise
Fix the agreement mistake
enterprises
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
came from
this
industry
. Their nuclear family
life
can be increased through the education that comes from the wages of
this
career
.
To conclude
,
although
catching your
passion
in the
industry
can offer happiness in
life
, choosing a
future
career
in an
industry
that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
higher payroll can increase not only our
life
quality but
also
our family.
Submitted by nadiasyifaa on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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