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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
three
Use synonyms
 pie charts illustrate the proportion of
three
Use synonyms
 kinds of food material,
such
Linking Words
 as
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat, and
sugar
Use synonyms
 in four meals.
According to
Linking Words
 the information, the percentages of consumed
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat are highest at dinner , which are 43% and 37% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the using
sugar
Use synonyms
 is the highest when
people
Use synonyms
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 desserts, reaching 42%. Breakfast consumed the lowest all
three
Use synonyms
 types of nutrients, a proportion of 14% to 16%, which is healthier than the other
three
Use synonyms
 meals.
People
Use synonyms
 in the USA consumed the proportion of 19% of sweet
sugar
Use synonyms
, 26% of saturated fat, and 29% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 in lunch, which is the median of the four meals.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 a few unhealthy nutrients when they wake up in the morning.
Then
Linking Words
, they consume more at lunch,
moreover
Linking Words
, they
use
Use synonyms
 it at dinner more than at lunch.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
 and fat in snacks, but the highest
use
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, sodium, sugar, people, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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