Some people say that playing video games is bad for children in every aspects. Others saying that playing video game have positive effects on the way children develop. Disscus both views and give your opinion.

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It is true that
video
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games
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have gained popularity over the past few years.
Although
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certain individuals believe that the trend might be harmful to children, I would argue that there's increasingly compelling evidence that
this
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leisure activity is actually beneficial in many different ways. There are several reasons why the trend has been considered negative for young
people
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.
First,
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since gaming is addictive in nature, most children would end up spending too much time on it, which may result in poor academic performance. In fact, students who are addicted to
video
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games
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usually have low learning scores since they tend to ignore homework and skip school.
Second,
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excessive screen time can lead to many negative impacts on a child's health and mental wellness.
For example
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, if children spend too much time playing
video
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games
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, they will be susceptible to many health issues,
such
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as obesity or myopia.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that
this
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leisure activity can bring numerous developments to any child. Young gamers often have invaluable experience in solving complex problems and staying cool under great pressure. In fact, there
is
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are
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a number of
games
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requiring a great deal of planning, strategic thinking and using logic to achieve goals, which are essential for young
people
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when entering the workforce.
In addition
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, playing
video
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games
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allows young
people
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to improve important social skills, including teamwork and collaboration.
For instance
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, game players are usually able to learn how to communicate their ideas effectively and work
together with
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others from diverse backgrounds, even from other countries, which can be particularly beneficial to those who struggle with social interaction or have difficulty making friends in other contexts. In conclusion,
this
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leisure activity can appear both beneficial and harmful to a certain extent.
However
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, I believe it should be encouraged rather than restricted since it can ensure numerous developments for young
people
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.

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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task, addressing both views and expressing a clear opinion at the end. However, make sure to further develop some points to fully support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your supporting points are organized in a more cohesive manner for a stronger overall coherence.
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