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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below illustrates how much money a single person and a couple in Australia need for a comfortable lifestyle after they retire.

The table below illustrates how much money a single person and a couple in Australia need for a comfortable lifestyle after they retire.
#money #person #couple #australia #lifestyle
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The presented table compares the average expenditures of Australian retired people based on
marriage
Replace the word
marital
show examples
 status.
Overall
Linking Words
, a glance at the figure provided reveals that a person who had
spouse
Correct article usage
a spouse
show examples
 had more
expenses
Use synonyms
 than a single, in which spending
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 leisure activities was dominant in the couple,
while
Linking Words
 housing became the majority in the opposite.
To begin
Linking Words
, the outcomes as a single retirement had a slightly lower cost than a couple at around 684 US
dollars
Use synonyms
. Most of the
expenses
Use synonyms
 by far
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 for daily activities
in house
Add a hyphen
in-house
show examples
 with below 200 US
dollars
Use synonyms
, followed by free-time actions with almost 150 US
dollars
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the couple categories, the
expenses
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities were higher than for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing at 202 US
dollars
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and became the main expenditures among all groups. Interestingly, the outcomes for health
were not be
Change the verb form
were not
show examples
 a priority for both of them, in which their budget
ranges
Wrong verb form
ranged
show examples
 between 122 and 177 US
dollars
Use synonyms
. The remaining
expenses
Use synonyms
 had small numbers,
while
Linking Words
 only
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 for transportation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
got more than 100 US
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenses, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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