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Band 5.5

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#consideration #career #job #income #reason
Every day we face plenty of uncertainties in our
life
 including the confusion to pick the profession for our
future
 careers. There are some words out there that we need to seek our
passion
 to be more successful
people
.
While
 there are plenty of
people
 who agree with
this
 opinion, on
this
 occasion, I would speak about my disagreement with
this
 idea. I believe that for choosing the next job,
people
 need to consider the
industries
 that offer higher income over
passion
.
While
 some
people
 tend to pursue their career
further
 towards their
passion
such
 as the art
industry
, I am convinced that we
also
 need to realize that some of the
industries
 are not worth pursuing
further
 for
future
 careers, and on
this
 occasion, I will take the art
industry
 as an example. Indonesia is lucky to have plenty of creative
people
, here there are several
people
 who rely on their
life
 towards
this
industry
. Throughout the years, the art
industry
 offers several artists that have been successful
such
 as Andre Taulany and Sule,
however
, there are more
people
 that are suffering a lot in
this
industry
 and cannot gave better
life
 for their
future
life
 and their family wealth
also
due to
 limited of money. On the opposite, consulting
industries
 widely known as boring
industries
 offer a lot of benefits, especially in wages. Over 100 years of Indonesian
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
show examples
, there are numerous
people
 who later became ministry and CEOs in private entities and state-owned enterprises who came from
this
industry
. Their nuclear family
life
 can be increased through the education that comes from the wages of
this
 career.
To conclude
,
although
 catching your
passion
 in the
industry
 can offer happiness in
life
, choosing a
future
 career in an
industry
 that has higher payroll can increase not only our
life
 quality but
also
 our family, just like old the main used to say, "No Pain No Gain".
Submitted by nadiasyifaa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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