IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

International tourist should pay more than the local visitor for cultural and historical attractions. Do you agree or disagree?

#tourist #visitor #attractions
Historial
places
 are inseparable segments of the people of the nations. It is
debatable
Add an article
a debatable
the debatable
show examples
 topic where one side supports the more payment is given by the international tourists for traditional and
historial
Correct your spelling
historical
places
 and
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side opposes
this
 act. Related ideas,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
along with
 the conclusion, would be captivated in the forthcoming paragraphs. There are a plethora of reasons behind giving more payment by tourists from other countries to traditional
places
 and the foremost one is that the local
visitors
 already provide funds to the higher
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 and
trusts
 of
historial
Correct your spelling
historic
 buildings. When globetrotters would give more than local individuals, there would be
inflow
Add an article
an inflow
the inflow
show examples
 of foreign currency, which would increase the Foreign Exchange of that economy;
consequently
,
this
 would strengthen the domestic. To cite an example,
Taj
Correct article usage
the Taj
show examples
 Mahal is a prominent
historial
Correct your spelling
historical
 attraction at Agara in Delhi; if global tourists would provide more
money
 than local
visitors
, it would increase the inflow of foreign currency to India, which
further
 heighten the Foreign Exchange Rate in the international market.
Therefore
,
this
 act would make
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 economy stronger.
Furthermore
, the
trusts
 who receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 from foreign
visitors
 contribute to maintaining other attractions; the lack of funds would lead to
ruin
Correct article usage
the ruin
show examples
such
Change preposition
of such
show examples
places
.
Hence
, the globetrotters should come forward to
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 more
money
 to
such
places
 so that these spots can be preserved.
For example
, in Punjab, several forts, which can be used for tourist attractions are on the verge of extinction
due to
 negligence of
trusts
 because they are facing
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of funds.
Therefore
,
foreigner
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
visitors
 should pay more than local ones in order to preserve
such
 precious
places
. In a nutshell,
although
, it is quite necessary to charge foreigners higher for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
places
, the importance
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
 received from local
visitors
 cannot be neglected.
Thus
, the
trusts
 should increase the fee of local
visitors
 in order to maintain these attractions properly.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: