IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#‘children #respect #parents #behaviour #impact #society
These days, it is undeniable that many children have had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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worse
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, especially
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 their
parents
, compared to the
part
Correct your spelling
past
show examples
 and it
also
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. From my point of view,
this
 impact causes many negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
. Most young people nowadays do not respect their
parents
,
one
Correct word choice
and one
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 of the major reasons is that they had imitated
a
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apply
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bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 from adults. To illustrates, when their
parents
 fight
to
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with
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 each other or have an argument, they will copy those words and manners in order to imitate. The reason is
because
Replace the word
that
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 they
was
Change the verb form
were
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 taught to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 their fathers and mothers, so they believe
that is
 a great
things
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thing
show examples
 to follow.
In addition
, the bad
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
 from their
parents
 can lead them to be an introvert.
For example
, some juveniles would
be shock
Change the verb form
be shocked
be shocking
show examples
 and stunned when they see people in their family having a fight,
caused
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 them to stay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
silent or some kids choose to cry. Moving to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reasons
Replace the adjective
another reason
other reasons
show examples
 that
effects
Change the verb form
effect
show examples
 adolescents
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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have a negative impact on society
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is social media.
Todays
Fix the agreement mistake
Today
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, many children tend to spend more time
on
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apply
show examples
watching cartoons and playing games, leading to
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 how to behave from the cartoon’s characters.
For instance
, some characters have bad manners
such
 as a thief and a
murder
Replace the word
murderer
show examples
, they might not know what is good or bad
then
 they decide to imitate those characters because of their
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
. To summarize, it can be emphasized that
parents
 are an example for all juveniles and they need to be a good imitation
for
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of
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 them.
Furthermore
, the negative
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 caused
from
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by
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 social media, leading to their
parents
 should provide some
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
while
 they are watching.
Submitted by foamary41 on

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