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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table shows the correlation between the
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
, both male and female, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
Overall
Linking Words
, in fifty years the
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 decreased eightfold,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 almost tripled. In 1851,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ratio between male and female
employees
Use synonyms
 was 3 to 2, with 287 and 190
thousand
Use synonyms
employees
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the situation completely changed ten years later, when the
number
Use synonyms
 of men decreased more than by half,
while
Linking Words
women's
Correct article usage
the women's
show examples
 group lost only 30
thousand
Use synonyms
. Another big leap happened in 1871
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when the
number
Use synonyms
 of workers decreased by 50 and 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the male and female groups
accordingly
Linking Words
. The pattern is the same for the rest time frames, leaving only around 30
thousand
Use synonyms
 people in both genders equally
at the end
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, the situation is not the same for the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
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. A big bounce happened between 1861 and 1871, resulting in three times more
factories
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.
While
Linking Words
 the next decade shows a
further
Linking Words
 increase, adding a hundred more
factories
Use synonyms
, the next 10 years after illustrate that the
number
Use synonyms
 before and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 leap is almost the same. At the start of the next century, England and Wales had exactly six hundred plants.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, employees, factories, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "leap" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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