The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar chart illustrates the average Australian

water

Use synonyms

usage in Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne, and

Canberra

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile, the pie chart portrays the

distribution

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of Australian

water

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utilization for agriculture, mining, household,

water

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supply, sewage, drainage, manufacturing, electricity and gas supply, and other industries in 2014.

Overall

Linking Words

, the highest average consumption was witnessed by Perth, and the lowest is in

Canberra

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, the biggest

distribution

Use synonyms

in 2014 was for agriculture, and the lowest was for mining.

To begin

Linking Words

with, Perth experienced the highest consumption at 300

kilolitres

Use synonyms

last

Linking Words

year. Meanwhile,

Canberra

Use synonyms

had the lowest amount, around 150

kilolitres

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Brisbane used 250

kilolitres

Use synonyms

, Adelaide around 240, followed by Sydney at 200, and

Canberra

Use synonyms

at approximately 150

kilolitres

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the highest

water

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distribution

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in Australia was Agriculture at 67%, and mining got less

water

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at 2%. Australian families get 9% of the

distribution

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In addition

Linking Words

, The

distribution

Use synonyms

Water

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supply, sewage, and drainage at 7%, the number same as electricity and gas supply.

Finally

Linking Words

, 5% of the

distribution

Use synonyms

was for manufacturing and other industries.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Wed Jun 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, canberra, distribution, kilolitres with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

175 words

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The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is widening. What problems can this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?