The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time.

#first #passengers #train #sydney #second #information #percentage #trains #time

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The first graph illustrates the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney from 1995 to 2004,

while

Linking Words

the second line graph gives information about how many percentages of trains

running

Wrong verb form

ran

show examples

time

Use synonyms

in the same duration.

Overall

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

the percentage of passengers rose during

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

time

Use synonyms

, the proportion of trains running on

time

Use synonyms

decreased, and there was a sharp fall by the end of the age. At the start of the

period

Add a comma

,period

show examples

the number of travellers accounted for 250

million

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure slowly increased from 250 to 265

million

Use synonyms

over four years. After that, there was a sharp rose to 300

million

Use synonyms

in 2001, which was a peak of passengers during the whole period.

Next,

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

number decreased to 280

million

Use synonyms

at the end

Linking Words

of the period. With regards to the percentage of trains running on

time

Use synonyms

, in the beginning, it could be seen that there was around 93% of success cases.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the rate dropped to just over 85% in 1997.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure fluctuated and reached a peak at 90% in 2003.

Finally

Linking Words

, 2004 experienced a sharp drop to 73% in 2004.

Submitted by exze.shoka on Wed Jun 21 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, million with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

186 words

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The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time.

You have recently ordered an item from the internet but are not happy with the purchase. Write to the company. In your letter •Describe what you purchased. •Explain why you are not happy with the purchase. •Tell them what you would like them to do about the situation.

in many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or a negative trend?

You have arranged a meeting with a business partner. Unfortunately, you have to change the arrangement. Write a letter to your business partner. In your letter, apologize for the changes explain the reason why the changes were needed explain the new arrangement

Nowadays, the ratio of diseases triggered by manufactured foods has been increasing around the world. However, many people still prefer to eat them as the staple due to the inexpensive price. I strongly agree with the opinion that processed foods should be made more expensive than now.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?