Some people that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.

#people #money #education #computers #teachers

Whether

relative

Correct article usage

the relative

show examples

importance of computers and

teachers

is a matter of debate.

While

there is a grain of truth in the assertion computers are useful tools, I side with the view that

teachers

can be more

skills

Replace the word

skilled

show examples

to increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

knowledge.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the one hand, those who argue that computers play a significant role might point out it's less spend money. The main reason is that people

are use

Change the verb form

are using

show examples

certain aims.

As a result

, everyone

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

happy. Another reason why they hold

this

view is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children's security

Change the punctuation

show examples

Because parents shouldn't

sending

Change the verb form

send

be sending

show examples

far their children in order to

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

As a result

, children

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

stay at home and watch different online lessons from

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

For example

, my sister

don't

Change the verb form

doesn't

show examples

go to Russian courses but she watches online lessons and Tv shows to stay at home and she

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

very safe. Despite the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

arguments, I support those who believe that

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

education

Add a missing verb

is.

show examples

One of the main features

pay

Change preposition

of pay

show examples

teachers

is very comfortable.

This

is simply because if we don't know anything we can

might

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

request

answer

Correct article usage

an answer

show examples

As a result

, people prefer to pay to

teachers

Apart from

this

teachers

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

skillfull

Correct your spelling

skilful

skillfully

. Especially young

teachers

very good experience . We are all clever and intelligent.

For example

personally

Add a comma

,personally

show examples

I go to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

English course and I

very

Add a missing verb

am very

show examples

pleased

Change preposition

with my

show examples

english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

teacher. I'm conclusion,

although

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

most

Add a missing verb

are most

show examples

useful, I lend towards the idea that going

Change preposition

to more

show examples

courses very well.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Wed Jun 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

interactive learning
tailored education
adaptive learning programs
distance learning
qualified teachers
immediate feedback
teaching methods
learning styles
social skills
balanced investment
modernize education
educational needs
emotional intelligence

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people thing that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
University education is enormous popular and common all parts of the world. Therefore, some people believe that studying at university is an achievement way to accomplish in life. However, some argue that university education is not chosen way to get successful today. In my opinion, education at university is extremely useful for people to create a good lifestyle in their entire life.
5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
English has become an indispensable part of an individual's life being an international language. Some people claim that if local languages donot get the required importance they can be vanished entirely. From my prespective every person needs to learn English, as well as local languages should be provided same significanse as English.
6.5
band
Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Whether or not countries should develop their living standard by economic development is now a debate. The writer, however, advocates that the benefits of enhancing educational background along with reducing the unemployment rate totally outweigh the cost of widening the rich gap.
4.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?
The topic of unpaid community service has divided people to think in two different directions. Some believe that it can be a great life lesson. Whereas, some people think otherwise. I am in full support of volunteering and I will discuss my thoughts in this essay.
5.5
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packing. Discuss both views and give your opinions. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There are common beliefs such as decreasing quantity of packaged food should implemented side of the producers and sellers of products. Others, including me, think that it mostly relied on consumers of the products as they can simply hold buycot for these kinds of goods.

Some people that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people thing that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?