IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays , People have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do think this is ? How could this problem be solved ?

#people #lifestyle
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Lifestyle is becoming one of the most important things in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 that determine what kind of person we are in the future. In
this
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 modern day, everyone has a choice about their own
life
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 agree to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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healthy habits, they choose to eat food with
balance
Replace the word
balanced
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nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
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, exercise more, and enough sleep.
On the other hand
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, others tend to take a bad way of
life
Use synonyms
such
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 as
eat
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eating
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 junk food, less sleep, and less workout.
This
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 choice could lead someone into a bad condition, physically and mentally.
This
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 essay will explain the causes and how to address those issues.
To begin
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 with, today everybody competes with others to be the fastest, the smartest,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 greatest so
people
Use synonyms
 can create
a
Correct article usage
the
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life
Use synonyms
 that they have dreamed of. Many
people
Use synonyms
 struggle
everyday
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every day
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 to be the winner at the
shool
Correct your spelling
school
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 or the office.
Unconciously
Correct your spelling
Unconsciously
, it
brings
Verb problem
causes
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 them to choose an instant
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity
.
For example
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, in the past
people
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 used to cook
in
Change preposition
at
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 their home and brought it to the workplace,
instead
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 of
order
Change the form of the verb
ordering
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 online for their
lunch time
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
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 because it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 faster and
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 little effort. There are none of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
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about
Change preposition
to
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this
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 issue except
raise
Fix the infinitive
to raise
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 awareness for
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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 to be more responsible for our bodies. We need to wake up early so we can prepare our meals.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, technology has become
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major part of
this
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 problem. Despite the fact technology has many benefits, it makes us
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 unproductive activities
such
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 as watching
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
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 reels or
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
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, watching
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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 or playing video games. We don't realize scrolling
instagram
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Instagram
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 or playing video games
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 hours and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 us awake until night even
we
Correct word choice
though we
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already
Add a missing verb
are already
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on
Change preposition
in
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our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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bed. Again, we need to control
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 to be
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
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of
Change preposition
in
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 using gadgets. We need to schedule and be strict with
time-consuming
Correct article usage
the time-consuming
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 for using it.
To sum up
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, we have to be responsible and wise with our
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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. If we already
took
Verb problem
have
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 a bad lifestyle, the solution
always
Add a missing verb
is always
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 in
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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 and
obody
Correct your spelling
nobody
body
 can't do it for us.
Submitted by claudia.anggreacia on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is clear and organized, but there are some issues with introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas, as well as relevant specific examples.
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