IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. What are the advantages to this? Do you think that advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

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It is undeniable that the use of
preservatives
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 and chemicals has become widespread in the
food
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 and beverage industry. There are benefits to using these substances, but they
also
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 provoke customers' concerns about potential
health
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 impacts and the
quality
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 of production.
Firstly
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, these substances contribute to extending the shelf life of
food
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.
Preservatives
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 can prevent the growth of harmful bacteria and fungi, reducing the risk of foodborne illnesses.
Therefore
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, the extended shelf life of processed foods reduces waste during transportation, whilst maintaining the consistency of
food
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 production in terms of
quality
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, flavour, and appearance.
This
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 ensures a predictable and enjoyable eating experience for consumers.
Hence
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, manufacturers can supply their productions to more foreign markets, sell at higher prices, and promote larger export volumes.
As a result
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,
this
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 enhances the living conditions of farmers and stimulates economic growth.
For example
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, using allowable
preservatives
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 in specific amounts has been permitted by the World
Health
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 Organization and is used globally, particularly natamycin to prevent microbial formation in cheese production.
However
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,
this
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 generates a sense of fear among customers. Some
preservatives
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 and chemicals used in
food
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 processing have been linked to
health
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 issues,
such
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 as allergic reactions, hyperactivity in children, and long-term
health
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 problems like cancer and heart disease.
Additionally
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, processing and preserving
food
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 can lead to the loss of essential nutrients, meaning consumers may not get the full nutritional benefits of fresh, whole foods. Despite the attractive appearance and fresh smell of some processed products with colourings and flavourings, clients still feel wary of what they are eating and are concerned about potential hidden dangers.
To conclude
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,
while
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 extending the expiry date, ensuring product
quality
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, and improving living conditions are key benefits of using
preservatives
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, there are significant disadvantages, including
health
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 risks and reduced
food
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quality
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. Ultimately, stringent
quality
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 checks could ensure that all products meet
health
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 standards, tipping the balance in favour of the advantages.

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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and logical, consider elaborating a bit more on the advantages to provide a more balanced view. Also, offering some alternatives or solutions to mitigate the disadvantages could further enrich your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try using more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas presented with relevant examples, such as the mention of the World Health Organization and natamycin in cheese production.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion that support the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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