IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france
The four pie charts illustrate how many
units
 of electricity
production
Replace the word
produced
show examples
 by fuel
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in Australia and
France
 during the
20 year
Add a hyphen
20-year
show examples
 period from 1980 to 2000.
It is clear that
 in 1980 in Australia the total
production
 make up 100
units
, of which exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half (50
units
) is coal.
For example
, the overwhelming majority of
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
production
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was in 2000 in
Australia
Change noun form
Australia's
show examples
 total
production
 constitute 170
units
, of which draw up again coal. The lowest indicator in 1980 was 10
units
oil
Change preposition
of oil
show examples
 and in 2000 were 2
units
 each
natural
Change preposition
of natural
show examples
 gas,
oil
Correct word choice
and oil
show examples
. The highest indicator in 1980 in
France
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 exactly a quarter (25
units
)
coal
Change preposition
of coal
show examples
 and natural gas. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one 5
units
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
. The highest indicator in 2000 in
France
 was 126
units
nuclear
Change preposition
of nuclear
show examples
 power
production
, and the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 2
units
 each
natural
Change preposition
of natural
show examples
 gas,
Correct word choice
and hydro
show examples
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
. In comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 in 1980 in
France
 total
production
 was 90
units
 and in 2000 was 180
units
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words units, production, france with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: