IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

It is an argument between adults and parents that working
skills
Use synonyms
 and knowledge should be provided
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
university
Use synonyms
 campus whether others’
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of view
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not neatly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. They
are supporting
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 the idea that the
university
Use synonyms
 must focus only on graduates’ sake, giving access to all information, regardless of whether it will be much more effective going to the special courses.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in some universities there are not any courses or lectures for graduates who want to learn
skills
Use synonyms
 needed in the workplace. So
this
Linking Words
 topic
appeared
Wrong verb form
appears
show examples
 to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
often
Correct quantifier usage
most often
show examples
 discussed among people, nowadays. It is believed that employers need special techniques to cope with problems or get
along with
Linking Words
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 at work.
Due to
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 that people recommend
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 working
skills
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
university
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, universities which are
high-qualified
Replace the word
highly qualified,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Oxford,
Harvard
Correct word choice
and Harvard
show examples
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 access to knowledge for the education needed in the workplace, providing special hours and
high-educated
Correct your spelling
highly educated
show examples
 professors. So graduates from these universities do not worry about
challenges
Correct article usage
the challenges
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they will face in the future.
This
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 is
peculiar
Correct article usage
a peculiar
show examples
 function of a
university
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, some people opposed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that statement, considering it is useless for graduates.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the main function of a
university
Use synonyms
 should be concentrated on
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own sake, without interrupting
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 working
skills
Use synonyms
 which you will get after graduation.
According to
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 their opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a waste of time when you have to pay more attention to your basic
skills
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are a large number of courses
due to
Linking Words
 working
skills
Use synonyms
 that employers can learn
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online or offline after having an amount of free time. In my opinion, having
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
 needed
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job in the
university
Use synonyms
, whether just learning
your
Change preposition
for your
show examples
 own sake which is a true function of an institution
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
depends on
graduates’
Correct article usage
the graduates’
show examples
 choice.
This
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 is perfect for
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 prefer attending classes for working techniques, because they get used to solving issues,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 having experience. I ultimately choose the former
due to
Linking Words
 my own abilities.

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure a clearer introductory statement indicating your opinion or the direction of your essay. This helps in setting a foundation for your argument.
Logical Structure
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas by using more cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Supporting Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This helps in illustrating your argument and making it more convincing to the reader.
Task Response
Work on your task response by ensuring that you address all parts of the prompt directly and clearly express your opinion throughout the essay, not just at the end.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and word choice to ensure the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
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