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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#internet #usage #taiwan #age #group #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart presents data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
users
 differentiated by
age
groups
 between 1998 to 2000. The bars are
color
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colour
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spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 for each
age
 group,
while
 the numbers given are in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
, we see that most
users
 of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 are in the
age
 group 16-30 years, followed by the group 31-50 years
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 three periods.
Nevertheless
,
internet
 use is increasing in the other two
age
groups
, namely children under 15 and adults over 50 years. As expected,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
users
 of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 are
the
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in the
show examples
 adult
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
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.
While
 more than half of the
internet
users
 were young adults in 1998,
this
 changes to 44% in 2000.
Likewise
, the older adults had a
deacrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
 with 4%, turning under 40% in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000.
In contrast
, the youngest and oldest
age
groups
 participate more in the world wide web
for
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apply
show examples
each year. The percentage increase is 7% and 6% respectively, leaving the
groups
 presenting 9% and 10% of the whole population of
internet
users
.
Submitted by sayedn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, users, age, groups with synonyms.
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