IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart presents data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 differentiated by
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 between 1998 to 2000. The bars are
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 for each
age
Use synonyms
 group,
while
Linking Words
 the numbers given are in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, we see that most
users
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 are in the
age
Use synonyms
 group 16-30 years, followed by the group 31-50 years
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 three periods.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
internet
Use synonyms
 use is increasing in the other two
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, namely children under 15 and adults over 50 years. As expected,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
users
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 are
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 adult
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 more than half of the
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 were young adults in 1998,
this
Linking Words
 changes to 44% in 2000.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the older adults had a
deacrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
 with 4%, turning under 40% in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the youngest and oldest
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 participate more in the world wide web
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year. The percentage increase is 7% and 6% respectively, leaving the
groups
Use synonyms
 presenting 9% and 10% of the whole population of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, users, age, groups with synonyms.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: