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Band 5

In the past, many people had skill such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? How far is this situation true in your country?

#people #skill #clothes #repair #house #countries #skills #change #situation #country
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People
 with technical skills
such
 as repairing broken
chair
Fix the agreement mistake
chairs
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 and making new
clothes
 for
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
 were very common in the past.
However
, all those special skills are about to disappear now across the globe. In my opinion, there are a variety of reasons that makes
this
 change.
Firstly
, industrialization was a factor that contributed to
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 change. Because of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technology, different kinds of machines introduced to the
world
 and businessmen start to expand their business by using machines
instead
 of hiring more workers.
This
 makes fast fashion exists nowadays and gives customers many choices in chain stores and shopping online, and the company can sell
clothes
 at
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
 price.
Secondly
, the living standard of
people
 is improved compared to a century before. Many
people
 had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 with many children and they are
also
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 group in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Parents merely supported the basic cost of living,
for example
, food and water, and these families do not have extra money to buy
clothes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each child and pay for skilled workers for repairing. And now,
people
 with
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 standard of living, it is seldom for
people
 to make
clothes
 or to repair things themselves.
Thirdly
, a majority of pupils are not educated in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vocational training but the
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 in today’s
world
. Many young
people
 choose to study academic subjects
such
 as science and information technology rather than to choose as
plumber
Fix the agreement mistake
plumbers
show examples
 or
carpenter
Fix the agreement mistake
carpenters
show examples
.
Therefore
, we can predict that these skilled workers are disappearing gradually in the future.
This
 situation happened in the rest of the
world
 and
also
 it is true in my city. As mentioned above, technology makes our lives in an easier way and there is no reason for modern
people
 to consume much time and effort for these activities.
Besides
, the working pattern for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
 is
also
 changing and some of them choose to be slasher as their career. In conclusion, those skills which are common in the past and now
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 disappearing in many parts of the
world
.
Submitted by albedosnow on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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