IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Money manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
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It is widely believed that sugary
products
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 should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less
sugar
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. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
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 statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that sugary
products
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 should be made more expensive. One of the main reasons can be that increase in sugary
products
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price
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 makes it more difficult for people to buy
sugar
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, which they will consider before buying.
This
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 means that they will replace it with cheaper sweet vegetables. Another reason can be that increasing the
price
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 of
sugar
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 will
also
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 reduce the
price
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 of sugary foods
such
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 as cakes and candies, thereby reducing the risk of diseases
such
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 as diabetes and obesity.
For example
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, my friends drink 2 soft drinks a day and most of them are seriously overweight, they look very tired and heavy.
On the other hand
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, I disagree with the viewpoint that sugary
products
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 should be made more expensive.
Firstly
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, the increase in
sugar
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 prices makes sugarcane farmers unable to sell sugarcane.
This
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 is because the increase in
sugar
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 prices reduces the consumption of sugary
products
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.
Secondly
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, Increasing the
price
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 of sugary
products
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 will make it difficult for poor children to buy sweets.
For instance
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, kids who are given 10000 VND will only get 1 candy
instead
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 of 2 like before. In conclusion,
although
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 more expensive sugary
products
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 will cause some problems, I’m convinced that sugary
products
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 should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less
sugar
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 thereby reducing diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and diabetes.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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