Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children both point of views and your opinion

#parents #computer #games #children #point

Nowadays, employees are required to share their personal

information

when going for an interview. Some

people

believe that

this

information

can be beneficial for the employer,

while

others do not believe

this

. I personally believe with a first set of

people

and my inclination toward

this

view will be discussed

further

in the essay with examples. There are various factors that can be addressed why some

people

believe that employers should benefit by accessing the personal

information

job

seekers when they for

for

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

applying

Add the preposition

forapplying

show examples

jobs. From the

hobbies

Add a comma

,hobbies

show examples

one can imagine employee behaviours and it can be deciding factor to assign them a personal duty.

For example

, a person who has more outings and movie habits can be a good fit for an oratory role. To add to

this

, if we go with marital status

then

a movie maker would always prefer a single actor or actors for their movies as lead roles because by that only

people

would take interest and ultimately their TRP would be elevated. I personally,

also

believe in

this

view. On the other side, a group of individuals counterargues it because of some reasons. Primarily, there is no guarantee to share accurate personal interests or

hobbies

while

applying for work.

In other words

, to get the desired

job

if candidates have a chance to apply their skills

then

they might share relevant

information

which is suitable for

this

job

For example

, if there is a

job

vacancy for a culinary artist, applicants may write appropriate

hobbies

like making and tasting different cuisine from various continents as their

hobbies

, which might be not true in their real life.

Thus

, even though they shared

information

which is not useful at all when they come to on the ground. Still, I do not believe in

this

view. In my opinion,

people

would share the

right

information

while

applying for jobs is beneficial to analyse their

job

vacancies and track application to select the

right

person for the vacant place. Nowadays, artificial intelligence-based software

also

helps to track the

right

candidate from personal

information

. In conclusion, to select the

right

person for

job

analytics tools need their personal

information

and

hobbies

;

However

this

is not true all the time because shared

information

might be wrong.

Submitted by bhoomika.a.ramani on Fri Jun 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

377 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
These days,It is becoming more and more popular to live in houses rather than apartments.Most of the community might prefer to move their apartments to residences.As a matter of fact,there are many advantages and disadvantages of living in houses.In this essay,I will address some pros and cons of changing the location of life.
6
band
Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issue?
In today's world pollution of air is one of the greatest issues in the environment. This essay will discuss both possible causes and consequences of the problem.
4
band
Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the fact that efficient tactics of decreasing air contamination. While some hold a strong view that there are other methods that are more effective, the opposite makes a statement that car-free days are effective approaches to diminish air contamination. While the former is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of the latter.
7.5
band
Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often said that vaping is healthier than smoking and helps smokers quit their habit. However, many are concerned about the potential harm of e-cigarettes and their role in leading people to become smokers. While it might be true that vaping is less dangerous than smoking, I believe the substances in e-cigarettes are proven to be harmful and addictive and should be regulated more strictly.
4.5
band
In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
The surge of doping in athletes seen in the past few years is concerning. This essay will dwell upon the consequences of this practices in young athletes' health, as well as a to prompt health and sports ministries to find solutions to these problem.

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children both point of views and your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issue?

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?