Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children both point of views and your opinion

#parents #computer #games #children #point

Nowadays, employees are required to share their personal

information

when going for an interview. Some

people

believe that

this

information

can be beneficial for the employer,

while

others do not believe

this

. I personally believe with a first set of

people

and my inclination toward

this

view will be discussed

further

in the essay with examples. There are various factors that can be addressed why some

people

believe that employers should benefit by accessing the personal

information

job

seekers when they for

for

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

applying

Add the preposition

forapplying

show examples

jobs. From the

hobbies

Add a comma

,hobbies

show examples

one can imagine employee behaviours and it can be deciding factor to assign them a personal duty.

For example

, a person who has more outings and movie habits can be a good fit for an oratory role. To add to

this

, if we go with marital status

then

a movie maker would always prefer a single actor or actors for their movies as lead roles because by that only

people

would take interest and ultimately their TRP would be elevated. I personally,

also

believe in

this

view. On the other side, a group of individuals counterargues it because of some reasons. Primarily, there is no guarantee to share accurate personal interests or

hobbies

while

applying for work.

In other words

, to get the desired

job

if candidates have a chance to apply their skills

then

they might share relevant

information

which is suitable for

this

job

For example

, if there is a

job

vacancy for a culinary artist, applicants may write appropriate

hobbies

like making and tasting different cuisine from various continents as their

hobbies

, which might be not true in their real life.

Thus

, even though they shared

information

which is not useful at all when they come to on the ground. Still, I do not believe in

this

view. In my opinion,

people

would share the

right

information

while

applying for jobs is beneficial to analyse their

job

vacancies and track application to select the

right

person for the vacant place. Nowadays, artificial intelligence-based software

also

helps to track the

right

candidate from personal

information

. In conclusion, to select the

right

person for

job

analytics tools need their personal

information

and

hobbies

;

However

this

is not true all the time because shared

information

might be wrong.

Submitted by bhoomika.a.ramani on Fri Jun 23 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

377 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children both point of views and your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assignments over the school year. What do you think of this trend?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Training for work is far more important than providing a broad-based education. You should use your own ideas and experience and support your argument with examples.

Formal exams are used to assess students at the end of each semester in many countries. Why are these exams used by schools and universities? What other types of assessment are possible?