Successful sports professionals earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #people #professions

It is considered that

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

get handsome money rather than folks who work in

another essential areas

Replace the adjective

another essential area

other essential areas

show examples

medical

Correct article usage

the medical

show examples

and education

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

. In

this

essay, I will be implementing the grounds of both notions and

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

my prospect. To commence with, there

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

plethora of reasons

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

earning

Wrong verb form

earn

show examples

more.

Initially

, a myriad of people possess

this

talent and they play for only

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

show examples

period of

time

. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

on it

show examples

, the

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

only can play for

their

Change the word

show examples

certain age of

time

and after

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

they need to take a retirement because of their fitness level. For

instace

Correct your spelling

instance

, the Turnine

sports

Correct your spelling

Sports

show examples

News covered that the 70%

Indian

Change preposition

of Indian

show examples

footballer prefer to take

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

retirement in their late 40's.

Thus

, the

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

get only a certain period of

time

for their career and save money for their upcoming life.

On the other hand

, the other vital jobs

such

as engineers and teachers earn less because their working periods are immense than

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

and they don't need any

God gifted

Add a hyphen

God-gifted

show examples

talent to pursue these jobs. To illustrate it, a score of teachers are doing their jobs in schools,

college

Fix the agreement mistake

colleges

show examples

and

univeristy

Correct your spelling

university

;

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

only a few

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

selected to play

for

Change preposition

show examples

international games.

For example

, a

survery

Correct your spelling

survey

conducted by

School

Correct article usage

the School

show examples

Union Of Asia in which they analyzed that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

interest

Change preposition

show examples

atking

Correct your spelling

taking

teacher

Replace the word

teaching

show examples

profession is significantly raised in

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

. In conclusion, there is an undeniable fact that other necessary professions

Change the verb form

are

show examples

crucial for society. Despite

this

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

got more because they got special talent

Change preposition

from

show examples

God and their career

time

is less.

Submitted by taniamall786 on Fri Jun 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Scientists have been warning for many years about protecting the environment and that people must limit the use of energy in their daily lives. Despite warnings, many people do not do so. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to protect the environment?
It has been known for a long time that human beings need to limit everyday energy use and that environment needs to be protected. However, it is also a fact that very few people actually take steps to improve the situation. There are several reasons behind this, but if proper measures are taken this situation can be rectified.
7
band
The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously discussed among various individuals and groups, and one prominent one is that the older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. However, we can predict the controversy of this tendency as well as the solutions for this statement.
7.5
band
It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is not possible to help all individuals on earth, thus authorities should focus on their own public. I strongly agree with this statement because developing countries already have a huge population that is dying because of hunger, and many nations help others to satisfy their evil ideas.
5.5
band
World peace is maintained through the threat of nuclear weapons. Nuclear power also provides cheap and clean energy. Therefore many people say that the benefits of nuclear energy outweigh the disadavantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear technology and give your opinion.
In modern days, some people believe that it can have advantages that aspects of price and energy; moreover, several nations have nuclear bombs to keep the peace all over the countries. I will discuss in this essay why it has advantages and disadvantages in society and I partly endorse two views.
8.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 250 words.
Some individuals commented that the ultimate aim for a nation is to increase as many as possible commodities and services. personally, I strongly disagree with the view since the authorities should have other priorities such as education, safety and medicine. Although, it is part of the national development. This essay will shed light on both sides of the matter and provide evidence to prove the arguments.

Successful sports professionals earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Scientists have been warning for many years about protecting the environment and that people must limit the use of energy in their daily lives. Despite warnings, many people do not do so. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to protect the environment?

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

World peace is maintained through the threat of nuclear weapons. Nuclear power also provides cheap and clean energy. Therefore many people say that the benefits of nuclear energy outweigh the disadavantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear technology and give your opinion.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 250 words.