The two charts show information about the college graduate and postgraduate students who did not go to full-time jobs and instead they were busy with other activities in 2008
The following two charts give clear information concerning the number of individuals, who were busy with a certain amount of work
instead
of being employed full-time after graduating the college in 2008.
It is apparent from the data provided in the charts that both graduate and postgraduate students
were more likely to continue their studies in the particular spheres, whereas
the least amount of students
of each type had a fancy for being busy with Voluntary work (29,665 and 2,725 individuals, respectively)
Furthermore
, as the number of graduate students
was considerably more than the second type, there can be seen no noticeable differences between the rates of both part-time job and unemployment sections, relatively.
By way of conclusion, a majority of students
of both types preferred to continue the performance in the sphere of education rather than the other ones ,however
the least quantity of them determined to choose the Voluntary work.Add a comma
,however
Submitted by mirazizmardonov4 on
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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