Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vocations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #holidays #year #vocations

One of the social concerns today relates to short or long

holidays

While

it is widely believed that it is better for

children

to have many short

holidays

during the

year

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. In my opinion, both of the above have their own benefits. On the one hand, it is argued that it is better for

children

to have many short

holidays

during the

year

. The main reason for

this

view is that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

will have a

change

Correct your spelling

chance

show examples

to take a rest after studying hard and prepare for the next program. It

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

children

reduce stress during

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

vacation because they won’t need to do homework or any school progress.

For example

, learners in any school in America will have short

break

Fix the agreement mistake

breaks

show examples

over

years

Correct article usage

the years

show examples

, so the homework will not

pressing

Change the verb form

press

be pressing

show examples

them.

On the other hand

, it is strongly by others that having fewer, longer vacations will have more advantages. People often have

this

opinion because they think that

children

would

be have

Change the verb form

have

show examples

long

Add an article

a long

show examples

time to rest after

the

Correct article usage

show examples

year

of knowledge.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, kids will have

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time with their families,

travel

Correct word choice

and travel

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

somewhere with

families

Change the noun form

family

show examples

members.

For instance

, Vietnamese

children

will have 2 big

holidays

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Lunar New

Year

and summer. They said that they feel comfortable during

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

holidays

. They spend more time

Change preposition

with

show examples

familes

Correct your spelling

families

family

friends

Correct word choice

and friends

show examples

during the long

terms

Change the noun form

term

show examples

holiday.

Inconclusion

Correct your spelling

In conclusion

show examples

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

many short

holidays

during the

year

will have some

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

, but fewer, longer

holiday

Fix the agreement mistake

holidays

show examples

will have some

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

too. In my opinion, it would be better if the

children

have longer

vacation

Fix the agreement mistake

vacations

show examples

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri Jun 23 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vocations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not in learning practical skills, upto what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people prefer to work on school projects with a group, while others would rather work alone. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

some people believe that social media sites, such as facebook or twitter, have a negative impcat on young people and their ability to form personal relatioship. others believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way