IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe these measures restrict our individual freedom.Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays as the research on technology highly increased, the implementation of it in the
crime
Use synonyms
 field
also
Linking Words
 widened.
As a result
Linking Words
, the government of many cities choose to install surveillance cameras in the
city
Use synonyms
 streets, parks, and other public areas. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that those cameras will reduce their privacy when they are in outdoor spaces. In my opinion, as there are
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks to it, I believe that tight security will help to decrease the number of criminals in a
city
Use synonyms
. The main benefit is that the
camera
Use synonyms
 will record everything in public areas, so when there are a
crime
Use synonyms
 happens, the
police
Use synonyms
 will have the evidence based on the videos recorded. It will make their job easier with video guidance. There are many cases that the
police
Use synonyms
 cannot solve the crimes because there were any evidence left.
This
Linking Words
 policy will
also
Linking Words
 be helpful for women who spend their time alone,
this
Linking Words
 will reduce their insecurities about going out without a man or another company. Another benefit is that
people
Use synonyms
 with bad intentions may think twice before they execute their actions because it will be recorded. That means the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate will
also
Linking Words
 be reduced. Before the video
camera
Use synonyms
 popular,
police
Use synonyms
 and security have to watch their area in order to keep their area safe.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the help of a recorded surveillance
camera
Use synonyms
, they could control through the monitor. Whenever they see something bad incidents, they will be able to handle it soon as it
also
Linking Words
 makes their job more efficient. Turning to the drawbacks, the surveillance
camera
Use synonyms
 would
also
Linking Words
 make
people
Use synonyms
 feel like being watched all the time. It could lead to freedom invasion for individuals. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that at first maybe the government just watched their citizen's activities, but later, they could
also
Linking Words
 control them with several prohibitions which actually do not make sense.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as there were some benefits and drawbacks, the positive impacts of
camera
Use synonyms
 implementation throughout the
city
Use synonyms
 will help the
police
Use synonyms
 control the
crime
Use synonyms
 rates and outweigh the cons. Even though the
people
Use synonyms
 have to experience their privation taken away, in order to watch over the
city
Use synonyms
 better, technology should be implemented to help
security
Replace the word
secure
show examples
 work more efficiently.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance cameras
  • Public safety
  • Deterrent
  • Evidence collection
  • Apprehend perpetrators
  • Public spaces
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Civil liberties
  • Abuse of power
  • Misuse
  • Cost implications
  • Monitoring
  • Maintenance
  • Essential services
  • Justice system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: