IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences
I think
computer
 i boon to humans. As it is widely used across the world. The
computer
 is used by industries.
Furthermore
,
computer
 store a lot of
information
 which would be handy in future. Many processes
such
 as Ms excel, Ms word, and Ms PowerPoint, is being used by youngsters and student for their project. ,
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 many processes
such
 as hiring
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 done through it. Since it is widely useduse people use it for calling around the world through an application called Skype.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 it is used in school to teach students what the usage of computers. ,
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
 a projector can is
also
 used to connect. As we can store
information
 in a pen drive any data can be transferred easily.  On the other ,hand it
also
 has a negative impact on the student because they use it in playing games which can be addictive and harmful to their eyes.
Whereas
 they spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching movies and playing YouTube. Some spam could lead to wrong
information
.
Following
this
 computers can be hacked easily if not protected which can lead to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharing
information
 with unknown people which can be dangerous in future. Plus there has to be an anti-virus in the
computer
 to protect from viruses. In ,conclusion computers can bring a positive and a negative impact too.
Submitted by vishwakarma.mangesh68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: