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Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
#hours #work #week #people #categories #activities #childcare #home #housework
The graph and table illustrate detailed information about the volunteer
work
 at
home
 done by
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
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females
show examples
.
Overall
, the graph shows that
woman
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women
show examples
 spend more
hours
 working on household
job
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jobs
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 compare to
men
,
similarly
 the table describes how
woman
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women
show examples
 are more proficient in taking care of the house and
children
. Looking at the
hours
 spent by
female
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females
show examples
, mothers with
children
 spent much more amount of time
in
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apply
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working at
home
, around 50 to nearly 60
hours
 every week. Meanwhile,
women
 without
children
work
 only around 30
hours
 every week.
However
, the number of
hours
 spent by
men
 with or without
children
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 constant,
under
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with under
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 20
hours
of
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apply
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spent on household
work
. Moving on to the type of
work
female
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females
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 at
home
,
women
 are better
in
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at
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 dealing with housework
such
 as cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the
children
.
Women
 share 25%
to
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apply
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either clean the entire house
and
Correct word choice
or
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 cooking,
while
men
 only share 20%
on
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of
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 the same
works
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work
show examples
.
Moreover
, the proportion of looking after
the
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apply
show examples
children
 is 35% for
women
, which is 20% higher than the
men
. Since
women
 mainly focus on the household job,
men
 proved to be very handy in gardening or mechanical
work
.
Men
 do 20%
on
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of
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 gardening,
while
women
 only
10
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do 10
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%.
Additionally
, most
men
 spend around 30% of their time
to fix
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fixing
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 cars, furniture, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electronic devices at
home
.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, home, hours, men, children, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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