The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
The graph and table illustrate detailed information about the volunteer
work
at
home
done by
male
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males
show examples
and
female
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females
show examples
.
Overall
, the graph shows that
woman
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women
show examples
spend more
hours
working on household
job
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jobs
show examples
compare to
men
,
similarly
the table describes how
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
are more proficient in taking care of the house and
children
. Looking at the
hours
spent by
female
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females
show examples
, mothers with
children
spent much more amount of time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working at
home
, around 50 to nearly 60
hours
every week. Meanwhile,
women
without
children
work
only around 30
hours
every week.
However
, the number of
hours
spent by
men
with or without
children
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
constant,
under
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with under
show examples
20
hours
of
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apply
show examples
spent on household
work
. Moving on to the type of
work
female
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females
show examples
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
at
home
,
women
are better
in
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at
show examples
dealing with housework
such
as cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the
children
.
Women
share 25%
to
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apply
show examples
either clean the entire house
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
cooking,
while
men
only share 20%
on
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of
show examples
the same
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Moreover
, the proportion of looking after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
is 35% for
women
, which is 20% higher than the
men
. Since
women
mainly focus on the household job,
men
proved to be very handy in gardening or mechanical
work
.
Men
do 20%
on
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of
show examples
gardening,
while
women
only
10
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do 10
show examples
%.
Additionally
, most
men
spend around 30% of their time
to fix
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fixing
show examples
cars, furniture, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic devices at
home
.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, home, hours, men, children, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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