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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, women join the army as main do. However, some people argue that the army solely needs males.

Nowadays, there still remains a controversial topic about whether
women
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 should attend the
army
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 or not. In my opinion,
such
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 a fiercest environment like the military is not totally suitable for the gentle opposite sex.
To begin
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 with,
although
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 military service is a glorious civic obligation which helps citizens to fulfil their duty to defend the
country
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,
women
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 should not join the
army
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. Obviously, the military is a fiercely disciplined environment, but
this
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 is not the right place for
women
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. The
army
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 is very disciplined and needs abundant physical strength, so in many respects, it is much more suitable to choose men for those positions.
For example
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,
women
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 are physically weaker than men, so they need to be loved and cared for more,
instead
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 of asking them to join the
army
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 to show patriotism. In order to be responsible for their
country
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, they can
also
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 show it through many other actions. Specifically, propaganda activities about patriotism and children's education because children are the future generation of the
country
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Moreover
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,
women
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 are supposed to be born to complete their social roles in childbearing o child-rearing. There is a famous saying that:” Men build a house but
women
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 build a home. Obviously,
women
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 need to know how to organize family life, how to establish emotional bonds among family members, and how to accept new values based on the sustainable value of the family so that the family will be happier and more prosperous, which has
also
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 contributed to the construction of the
country
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. In conclusion, the fact that
women
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 should join the
army
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 is opposite to the natural trend when their physical manner
as well as
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 their social role which they have in any society

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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