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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows who Americans spend their time with, by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows who Americans spend their time with, by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the categories of people with whom
Americans
Use synonyms
 spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 during their lifetime. At the age of 20
Americans
Use synonyms
 spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 with family, approximately 4,5
hours
Use synonyms
 per day
while
Linking Words
 the quality
time
Use synonyms
 with a partner and children is less than an hour. After age 30 pattern changes,
time
Use synonyms
 with family decreased to just a little bit more than 1 hour,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
time
Use synonyms
Americans
Use synonyms
 spend with partners rose significantly to 3
hours
Use synonyms
 and
time
Use synonyms
 with children increased to 4
hours
Use synonyms
 per day.
Americans
Use synonyms
 who are more than 50 years old experienced a fall in the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent with coworkers, children and family,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 there was a gradual increase in
time
Use synonyms
 with a partner. After 70 there was a significant fall in
hours
Use synonyms
 with a significant other from 4
hours
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 decreased to 2,5
hours
Use synonyms
 per day.
In addition
Linking Words
, by the end of the graph
hours
Use synonyms
 spent alone peaked at 8
hours
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is pretty clear that the
hours
Use synonyms
 spent alone
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 growing constantly and it was the most stable pattern. The
time
Use synonyms
 that
Americans
Use synonyms
 spend with other categories had fluctuations
due to
Linking Words
 the life circumstances
such
Linking Words
 as growing up, getting into a college or retiring.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words americans, time, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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