some prople argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

#prople #job #money #salary #life

People

have a different view about earning

money

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

enjoyable

work

than

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

paid a lot.Some

people

believe that it is more significant to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

delightful

work

than to get a lot of

money

.Other

people

disagree and assume that a high income

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

greater

Fix the agreement mistake

a better

show examples

life. The main reason job satisfaction is so important is that it gives

people

a sense of satisfaction that

money

cannot guarantee.Even if someone receives a high salary, but feels stressed and unhappy,

such

a person cannot enjoy life.

For example

, the artist enjoys the process of painting pictures and does not always get enough

money

. I make it clear that I agree with

this

view

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

getting a high salary is better

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than working on

delightful

Add an article

the delightful

a delightful

show examples

job,because there is

such

a thing as

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

. So if the salary is good,

then

why not

work

Change the punctuation

show examples

Considering that everyone has high living expenses.You have to pay taxes,

utilities

Correct word choice

and utilities

show examples

buy

Correct word choice

and buy

show examples

clothes and food.

For instance

Correct word choice

if an

show examples

individual works in an office, a person does not like

work

, but he has to cover his expenses since he assumed obligations.Even if the

money

does not go to use, it will be possible to cover the need with it. In conclusion,I think that the choice is up to each person. It is better to

work

at a pleasant job

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

get less, and be happy.

Submitted by aishushka2002 on Sat Jun 24 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address the task and lacks a clear position on the topic. The arguments are not fully developed or supported with relevant examples. Overall, the essay lacks depth and fails to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. The ideas are presented in a disjointed manner, and the connection between the introduction, body, and conclusion is weak. Additionally, the examples provided are not well-developed and do not effectively support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

226 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some prople argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

Your opinion

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Some people think that living in a country is essential to learn that country’s language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years , many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places , such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places.