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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The given line chart illustrates information about the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people who live in
four
Use synonyms
 different Southeast Asian counties living in cities between 1970 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the
population
Use synonyms
 in
four
Use synonyms
 Asian countries will
having
Change the verb form
have
be having
show examples
 an
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 trend.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 dense country and it
also
Linking Words
 will predict to have a significant rise in the future. Looking at the details, around 30% of people lived in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 in 1970 and
this
Linking Words
 number was higher than
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Change noun form
Indonesia's
show examples
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 with only just under 20% and around 13% respectively. The
population
Use synonyms
 in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had a significant rise to approximately 80% in 2020,
while
Linking Words
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 saw a fluctuation percentage in the same year with just over 40% and around 30%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Indonesia had around
four
Use synonyms
 times higher
population
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 in 2020 and
this
Linking Words
 figure surpassed
Thailand
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 in 2000 and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
,
four
Use synonyms
 countries will have an increasing percentage for the next decades where
Malaysia
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 will have the highest
population
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 and will reach a peak at just over 80%.
Thailand
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 will be the least populated country in 2040.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words four, population, malaysia, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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